Ep #561 – The Five Love Languages – Author Dr. Gary Chapman

What does talking about your love languages have to do with real estate? EVERYTHING! The quality of your relationships are foundational to success. The 5 Love Languages® is one of Dr. Chapman’s most popular titles, topping various bestseller charts for years, selling over thirteen million copies, and has been on the New York Times best-sellers list continuously since 2007. I have given away over 1000 copies of this important book.
Dr. Chapman has been directly involved in real-life family counseling for more than 30 years, and his nationally-syndicated radio programs air nationally on Moody Radio Network and over400 affiliate stations. Here’s some of what we covered:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Acts of service
  • Gifts
  • Quality time together
  • Touch
  • The three eye opening questions
  • Lessons from cancer
  • The uniqueness of the soul
  • How to handle anger

To find out more about our guest:

Full Transcript Below:

Rod: Welcome to another edition of “How To Build Lifetime Cashflow Through Real Estate Investing.” I’m Rod Khleif and I am thrilled you’re here. And I will tell you, I am more thrilled to be interviewing the gentleman that I’m interviewing today. Now, his name is Dr. Gary Chapman and he is the very famous author of the number one New York Times best seller, “The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts”, and many other books as well. And I will tell you, millions of people on this planet credit this book with improving their relationships with their marriages, of course, but even their other relationships. I know it’s helped me with my kids. I’ve given away, I’m not exaggerating to my students, probably close to a thousand copies of this book. I reference it regularly, you know, when I’m talking to people about relationship. And Dr. Chapman, forgive me, also still does counseling with, you know, and weekend marriage conferences. Yoza nationally syndicated radio show that’s on 400 stations around the country. And I could go on and on, but just super excited to have you on the show, Doctor.

Dr. Chapman: Well, thank you. It’s good to be with you.

Rod: Yeah. So, maybe you could tell us what prompted you to write that book? And I know you’ve got other books. I’d love to go through those before we finish up today. Just the titles at least, and maybe briefly. But obviously, I’m very enamored with “The Five Love Languages”. So, what prompted that book for you?

Dr. Chapman: You know Rod, that grew out of my counseling. I never forget the first time it dawned on me that people can be sincere in expressing love and still miss the other person emotionally.

Rod: Yeah.

Dr. Chapman: I remember the couple who came into my office many years ago. I didn’t know them, never met them. I found out they’ve been married to each other for 30 years and they sat down and she said among other things, she said, Dr. Chapman, the problem is I just don’t feel any love coming from him. She said, we’re like roommates living in the same house. He does his thing and I do my thing. We don’t fight, but there’s just nothing going on between us. And she said, I feel so empty. And I looked at him and he said, I don’t understand that. I’ll do everything I can to show her that I love her. And she sits there and tells you what she’s been telling me, that she does not feel love. He said, I don’t know what else to do. And I said, well, what do you do to show your love to her? And you said, well, I get home before she does. So I start the evening meal and sometimes I have it ready when she gets home. If not, she’ll help me and then we eat. And after we eat, he said, I wash the dishes. And every Thursday night I vacuum the floor. And every Saturday I wash the car and I mow the grass and I help her with the laundry. And he went on and I was beginning to wonder, what does this woman do? It sounded to me like he was doing everything.

Rod: Right.

Dr. Chapman: And he said, I do all of that. And she says she doesn’t feel love. And he said, I don’t know what else to do. I look back at her and she started crying and she said, Dr. Chapman, he’s right. He’s a hard working man. But we don’t ever talk. We haven’t talked in 20 years. He’s always mowing the grass, washing the dishes, always doing something. And I knew here was a guy that was as sincere as he could be and he was loving his wife and she wasn’t getting it. And after that, I heard similar stories over and over and over in the office. So what I did eventually and here’s where the book found root. I actually read several years of notes that I made when I was counseling people and asked myself when someone said, I feel like my spouse doesn’t love me, what did they want? What were they complaining about? And their answer fell into five categories. And I later call them “The Five Love Languages”. And I started using that in my counseling. And I would help them discover each other’s language, challenge them to go home and try it. And sometimes they would come back right in three weeks and say, Gary, this is changing everything.

Rod: Wow.

Dr. Chapman: The whole climate’s different now.

Rod: Let me just interject something and I apologize that I should have said before you even started. And guys, you may be sitting here wondering, what are we talking about on this real estate podcast? Well, what we’re talking about is the most important component of your life. The foundation of your success, even in real estate, is to come home to love into a foundational relationship. And this won’t just help you, even if you’re not in a relationship, if you love anyone, you need to pay attention today. Okay? Anybody. Your father, your mother, your son, your daughter, of course, your spouse, significant other. So listen, do not leave this call because this is more important than probably anything we will talk about on this show all year. So I’m sorry, I should have pre-framed that before we got started, Dr. Chapman. So please–

Dr. Chapman: It’s okay. Yeah, I hear you. That’s exactly right.

Rod: Right.

Dr. Chapman: It impacts all relationship. So, probably it was five years after I discovered all of this, then I thought if I could put this concept in a book and write it in the language of the common person, leave out psychological jargon that people might not understand, maybe I could help a lot of people that I would never have time to see in my office. Little did I know that it would sell now over 15 million copies in English be translated and published in over 50 languages around the world.

Rod: Wow.

Dr. Chapman: So, it obviously is speaking to the deep need that all of us have to feel loved by the significant people in our lives. And obviously, if you’re married, the most significant relationship is the marriage. And if you feel loved by your spouse, the life is beautiful. But if you don’t feel loved, then you feel like they don’t love me. They wish they were married to me. Life began to look pretty dark. And so a lot of the stress and problems in a marriage grow out of not meeting the emotional need for love.

Rod: Yeah. You know, it’s interesting because I was previously married. And just so you guys know, the love languages, those five ways that and we’ll dig down on this. Actually I’ll let Dr. Chapman explain it. But I just want to share my experience. So, one of them is acts of service, like the example that this gentleman had where he showed love by doing things for his bride. And that actually was my ex wife’s love language. But my way of showing love is giving gifts. And we’ll explain all five of them here in a minute. But one of them is gifts and one of them is this what we call acts of service. And so I would spend literally hundreds of thousands of dollars on my ex-wife and she could care less. But if I did the dishes, the angels would sing in the clouds would part. And so, you know, but I didn’t know I just didn’t have this technology that Dr. Chapman has in his book and it was just such an absolute eye opener. So, maybe you could drill down with much greater eloquence on the five, those five ways that people feel love and why it’s important. Yeah.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah, sure. And these are in no particular order. But one would be words of affirmation.

Rod: Right.

Dr. Chapman: You look nice in that outfit. I really appreciate what you did. You know, one of the things I like about you is simply using words to affirm the other person. There’s an ancient Hebrew proverb that says, “Life and death is in the power of the tongue.” We can kill people or give them life by the way we talk to them. And for some people, this is their primary love language. This is what makes them feel loved. So you give these people critical words and it’s like a dagger in their heart, you know? So words of affirmation. Now, one lady did say to me, Rod, she said, Dr. Chapman, I hear you and I know it would be good if I could give my husband some positive words. She said, but to be honest with you, I can’t think of anything good to say about the man.

Rod: Yeah, not good.

Dr. Chapman: And I said, well, does he ever take a shower? And she said, well, yes. I said, how often? She said, well, every day. I said, if I were you, I’d start there. I appreciate you taking a shower. I said there are men who don’t.

Rod: Yeah, that relationship may need a little more work but that’s–

Dr. Chapman: I never met a man or woman that you couldn’t find something good to say about it if you look for it. Then the number two would be acts of service, which we mentioned of doing something for the other person that you know they would like for you to do. You know, the old saying is, “Actions speak louder than words.” If this is their love language, that’s true. It’s not true for everyone, but it is true for those if this is their love language. And then there’s gifts, it’s universal to give gifts as an expression of love. The gift says they were thinking about me. Look what they got for me. And you know Rod, the gift does not have to be expensive. We’ve always said, “It’s the thought that counts.” But I like to remind people, it’s not the thought left in your head that counts. It’s the gift that came out of the thought in you head. A guy was telling me just recently said, Dr. Chapman, my wife’s language is gifts. I was taking a walk and I saw a bird feather. And I picked it up and brushed it off and took it home and said to her, Honey, when I was walking, I saw this bird feather and I want to give it to you because it reminded me that you are the wind beneath my wings girl, I love you. I mean, he hit a home run, then cost him a penny. He gave a gift and words of affirmation. So gifts, and then there’s quality time, giving the other person your undivided attention. I do not mean sitting on the couch watching television together. Someone else has your attention. I’m talking about TV is off. Computer is down. We’re not answering our phone. We’re simply looking at each other and listening and sharing a life with each other. And it doesn’t always mean sitting on the couch. You can be taking a walk down the road. You can go out to eat. Assuming that you talk. We’ve all seen couples in a restaurant where they’re sitting there across the table to each other looking at their screen rather than talking to each other. That’s not quality time. So, it doesn’t even have to be conversations. It could be just doing something together that you know the other person enjoys doing. And the very fact that you would take your time to do that with them. The important thing is not what you’re doing is that you’re giving them your undivided attention. And then number five is physical touch. And we’ve long known the emotional power of physical touch. So in a marriage, this would be such things as holding hands and kissing and embracing and the whole sexual part of marriage, an arm around the shoulder, driving down the road, you put your hand on their leg, just simple, affirming touches. And for some people, this is their language. So the basic concept is out of those five, each of us has a primary love language. One of these will speak more deeply to us than the other four. We can receive love in all five, but if we don’t receive love in our primary language, we will not feel loved even though the person is speaking the other languages. Simple idea that it makes a huge difference when you apply.

Rod: It was, you know, it was everything for me, you know. And I will tell you guys, definitely go out and get this book if you have not read it, “The Five Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts”. And if you’re in a relationship, an intimate relationship in the back of it, there’s a, basically, a test you can take. I mean, I hate to use the word test, but it’s a way to discover what your love language is and what your spouse’s love language is or your significant other. My wife and I just did it again. Oh, gosh. It’s probably been a month ago before we even connected with Dr. Chapman. So it’s just kind of serendipitous that he’s on the show now. And it was, you know, it illuminated it for me a little bit because now you can have– I know you have one primary, but do you sometimes see that there could be, you know, another one that’s fairly strong?

Dr. Chapman: Yes, I have people said to me, you know Dr., I have two that are exactly the same.

Rod: Yeah.

Dr. Chapman: I said, fine, you’re bilingual. Either one of those is going to speak deeply to you. So, yeah, most of the time one will stand out over another. But yes, there are occasions in which the two of them will be very, very close.

Rod: Yeah. So again, guys, those are touch, acts of service, which was my ex wife’s, gifts, which is my way of showing love, words of affirmation, and what am I missing?

Dr. Chapman: Quality time.

Rod: Quality time. That’s my son’s. My daughter’s words of affirmation if I tell her how amazing she is, she lights up like a Christmas tree. My son doesn’t matter for digging a ditch. If we’re having fun together, he feels that love.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Rod: Well, so guys listen, I can’t stress this enough. This is a game changer in your relationship. So definitely make sure that you get the book and understand these love languages and really find out how that the people that matter to you feel love, because otherwise I don’t want to say wasting your time but they’re not getting the love you expressed to them if they’re not getting it in the way that they feel it the most, the deepest. So, I’d like to ask you this, because I know, Dr. that you came up with some questions that helped improve your marriage. Do you recall what those are?

Dr. Chapman: Sure.

Rod: Okay.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah, three questions, because my wife and I struggled greatly in the early years of our marriage. You know, I didn’t know anything about love languages. So I did know that when people gave me words of affirmation, I felt appreciated. So just by nature, I gave her words of affirmation. You know, told her how nice she look and all of that. And I probably told her a dozen times a day in the first few months, I love you, honey. I am so glad I married you. I love you, love you, love you. One night she said to me, you know, you keep on saying, I love you. If you love me, why don’t you help me? And I was blown out of the saddle. Because in my mind, I loved her. In her mind, if I loved her, I’d be helping her around the house and doing some things around the house. Acts of service was her language because I knew nothing about it in those days. So we had a lot of struggles. We ended up arguing a lot. And I know the feeling that you’ve made a mistake in this marriage. This is not working. You know, and maybe that’s why I went into counseling, because I empathize with people who are struggling in their marriage and feel like, well, that we’re too different. It’s never going to work. But when I was willing to ask these three questions and I had to have a change of attitude, but when I had this change of attitude and I was willing to ask these three questions, things began to change. Their simple questions. Honey, what can I do to help you? What can I do to help you? Second question, how can I make your life easier? How can I make your life easier? Third question, how can I be a better husband? And when I was going to ask those three questions and respond to them. My wife’s attitude began to change toward me. Now looking back on it, her answers were telling me her love language. I didn’t understand that concept. But when I started responding to that, it didn’t happen overnight. But within three months, my wife started asking me those three questions.

Rod: Wow.

Dr. Chapman: How can I help you? How can I make your life easier? How can I be a better wife? And Rod, we’ve been walking this road a long time now, which I’ve been reaching out to love and serve her, and she’s been reaching out to love and serve me. And I have an incredible wife. In fact, I said to her earlier the day, You know Karolyn, if every woman in the world was like you, there would never be a divorce. Why would a man leave a woman who’s doing everything she can to help him? And not go through these years has been to so serve her that when I’m gone, she’ll never find another man to treat her the way I’ve treated her. Okay? She’s going to miss me.

Rod: Yeah. Well, that’s you. When two people live to serve each other, that’s a world class relationship.

Dr. Chapman: Absolutely.

Rod: It doesn’t … better than that. Now I know that she was diagnosed with cancer at one point. You know, what happened in your relationship when you went through that rough patch?

Dr. Chapman: Yeah, nine years ago now, she had cancer and, ovarian cancer, and surgery, chemo. She calls it her last year because really for the whole year, she lost her hair, lost weight and couldn’t eat and just all of that. Anybody’s been through the journey. You know what I’m talking about. And, you know, one of the things that coming out of that, it caused me to accept some little things that irritated me, you know, like the way she load the dishwasher and things like that. Because I load it in an organized fashion and she loves it like she’s playing Frisbee.

Rod: But that resonates…

Dr. Chapman: But, you know, after going through that with her, I look in the dishwasher and I just thank God that she’s here to put them in the dishwasher however she puts them in. You know, when you come to the realization that life is not forever and we all going to die someday, and you realize that they’re still with you when they’ve gone through something like cancer, you just deeply appreciative. It’s just much deeper thing. And people have said to her, you know, she turned 80 a while back. I’m over 80 myself. But they say, you hesitate as a woman to tell your age. And she said, oh no, I’m glad to be alive. I’ll tell my age.

Rod: That’s funny.

Dr. Chapman: You know.

Rod: Life is about meaning and she–

Dr. Chapman: Absolutely.

Rod: Different meaning on it. Wow.

Dr. Chapman: Absolutely, yeah.

Rod: Love that. You know, you said, talked about the things that irritate you. And I had someone very wise once tell me, when you can learn to love the things that irritate you about your significant other, that’s when you really evolve. When those things that those silly stupid little things like you just described, you’re just like, oh, that’s my baby doing this goofy stuff again. You know, that’s when you’ve really, I think, taking that relationship to another level.

Dr. Chapman: You know, I wrote a book on the second half of marriage. It’s called “Married and Still Loving It.” And one of the things that in our research we found is that couples in the second half of marriage, that means you’re over 50 unless you’re going to give to leave me 120. In the second half, those that are really thriving and not just surviving are those who have come really not just to accept those things, but to laugh about those things.

Rod: Yeah. I love it. Now, I know you guys have a couple of kids, Shelley and Derek, what did you learn from raising your children and being around your babies?

Dr. Chapman: Well, you know, we often think in terms of parents influencing children and we do to be sure, but our kids influence us and we can learn from our kids. And one of the things I learned, my daughter’s a medical doctor and her life was always focused. By the time she was eight years old, she said to us, she said, I will be a doctor when I get big, you know, and she went to high school and took chemistry in Latin and all this stuff. And our son, he said, you know, Shelley’s so focused that she’s missing out on a lot in life. He said, and so his word is flexibility. And he just done all kinds of things. He did three majors in college and then he got a masters and expressive therapy. And then he went to seminary and, you know, and he’s just that kind of person. So realizing that no two children are alike and that we’re here to recognize that and affirm that, affirm their uniqueness. But the other big lesson I learned from my son and this was really key was how to handle anger.

Rod: Yeah. Oh, no kidding.

Dr. Chapman: You know, I didn’t realize I had a problem with anger till I got married, you know, and then I had a huge problem when I had a teenage son because he was rebellious, you know, he wouldn’t agree on everything. And so I remember the night that he and I were just screaming at each other, screaming at each other, and he walked out of the house and slammed the door. And I woke up and I thought, man, what am I doing yelling at my son, you know? And I realized, why was he yelling at me? He learned it for me, you know? And when he finally came back in, I apologized to him and I said, Derek, man, I need to apologize to you. He said, I say, no father should ever talk to a son the way I talk to you. And I said some hateful things to you. And that’s not the way I feel about you. I love you very much. And I hope you can forgive me because I don’t want to go on talking to you like that. And he said, Dad, that was not your fault. He said, I started that and when I was walking up the road, I asked God to forgive me and I won’t ask you to forgive me. Woah! And we hugged and we cried. And then we sat and I said, Derek, let’s learn together how to handle anger.

Rod: Yeah.

Dr. Chapman: I said, what if the next time you get angry with me, you just say, Dad, I’m angry. Can we talk? And I’ll just sit down and listen to you and let you tell me man. And the next time I’m angry, I say the same thing to you. Derek, I’m angry. Can we talk and let’s learn how to talk our way through anger rather than yelling at each other. It was a huge turning point in our relationship and in my life of learning how to handle anger. Look, all of us have anger. There’s nothing wrong with anger, but it’s how we handle anger. If we let the anger control us, we’re going to destroy relationships. If we learn how to control it and manage it, then it helps build relationships.

Rod: You can communicate through it.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Rod: Yeah, like you did. What was your relationship like with your father?

Dr. Chapman: It was a good relationship. My dad worked in a textile mill, but we had a really good relationship. And then summer we had a garden, and spring and summer, he taught me how to garden and how to mow grass and all those kinds of good things. So, yeah, we had it. We had a very positive relationship.

Rod: I know in the notes and getting ready for this that you had a life changing experience the night you and your dad went to help your grandfather.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Rod: Can you speak to that?

Dr. Chapman: Yeah. My grandfather was an alcoholic and he worked in the cotton mill, textile mill, and he would come home in the afternoon and have dinner and then he would go out to his drinking place. And one night a man knocked on our door, the back door of our house, and he said to my father, your dad is up there in a ditch by the highway. He’s drunk. It was in the wintertime. And my dad said to me, I think I was 11 or 12 years old. He said, put your coat on. Let’s go help your grandfather. So we went up there and there was my grandfather in the ditch. My father reached down, took an arm and pulled him up and I got on the other side and we welcome home. All the while he was mumbling about he didn’t need our help and we put him in bed. And that’s the night that I decided as a 12 year old, 11 year old, I’m not going to mess with alcohol. I don’t want to end up there.

Rod: Yeah.

Dr. Chapman: And it’s a decision I’ve never rescinded. You know that I know people can drink modestly. I understand that. But it’s a decision I decided. I just don’t want to mess with alcohol. And, you know, too many of our young people are out, as you know, by the time they get to 18, they’ve already messed up their brain. They will not learn without, they start with alcohol, then it moves other drugs.

Rod: Right.

Dr. Chapman: And I wrote a book with a friend of mine, African-American friend of mine, Clarence Shuler called, “Choose Greatness” and another one–

Rod: Shoes of Greatness? Forgive me.

Dr. Chapman: “Choose Greatness.”

Rod: Oh, “Choose Greatness.” Got it. Got it. Got it.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah, 11 wise decisions that brave young men make. And we’re writing to young men who are in the teenage years. And we’re saying, the decisions you make in the teenage years are going to impact the rest of your life. So here are 11 key decisions that we’re encouraging you to make. And we share our own story on some of that. And we’re hoping that both in the African-American community and the Anglo and other communities, that we’re going to help some young people get on the right track early on.

Rod: Oh, that’s good stuff. That’s good stuff. Love that. Now, I know that you speak all over the place. You’ve spoken to churches, businesses, military bases, other venues. What’s the invitation that you received that had the biggest impact on you?

Dr. Chapman: Well, I really do enjoy speaking on military bases, and I think the first time I did that, it was rather unique. It was before computers and all that were fully blown. And there was a chaplain in Afghanistan who sent me an email and said, Dr. Chapman, we’ve been giving out your books for years. He said, would you be willing to go to Fort Bragg, which is in North Carolina where I live, and speak toward the spouses on the five love language today if you will, we’ll get a satellite hookup and I’ll have the guys over here in a big tent and they can hear at the same time their spouses.

Rod: I love it.

Dr. Chapman: So my wife and I went down there and I shared the same lecture three times on Friday night once and Saturday morning, Saturday afternoon. Two hundred and fifty people in each time in the little auditorium. And the men over there, we’re seeing at the same time. And at the end of it, they allowed each of the spouses to go up and have five minutes on satellite with their spouse. It’s as I said, this was before Zoom and all that.

Rod: Right.

Dr. Chapman: And so they would, sometimes they were showing babies that had been born since the guy was deployed, you know, and the gals would come out crying. My wife and I would hug them. I mean, it was a very, very moving experience. And I said, at that point, I’m going to take every opportunity I have to speak to military couples because it’s a tough life when you’re deployed again and again and again. That guy wrote a special military edition eventually on how do you speak these languages when you’re deployed? So you can stay connected while you’re deployed.

Rod: Oh, I love that. I love that. Yeah, I do a lot in that venue as well, in that area as well. Now, I know you’ve served as an associate pastor at the same church for 15 years. Wow. Tell me what that experience has been like and what you’ve learned from, you know, doing that for 50 years. Wow. That’s just incredible.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah, you know, I never intended to stay anywhere for 50 years, but it all happens a day at a time, right?

Rod: Right.

Dr. Chapman: But it’s been a great journey. I’ve worked with, I think, four senior pastors. I’ve never been the senior pastor, but I focus on education in the church and counseling. And that’s been my ministry. And the first 10 years I worked with college students and started the college ministry, college students needs to listen to them. You know, I mean, they’re learning, but they got a lot of questions. And if you listen to them, you can have great relationships. And I, for 10 years, I focused on single adults and their relationships, and some of them were single again and some of them were never married. But I’ve always focused on counseling. But what I discovered in the church is the same is true anywhere. And that is where people are really struggling, is in marriage and family relationships. And if they have marriage and family relationships moving in a positive direction, they’re going to be far more successful in their jobs, whatever their job is.

Rod: Yeah.

Dr. Chapman: But when you come home, you know, it’s going to be horrible at home and the kids and it’s harder to give yourself fully to your vocation. So that’s why and I guess because I had so many struggles in my early years, I have empathy for people. And I understand when people say, we have no hope. Because I remember how when I felt that way. So I sometimes say to them, I understand that. Why don’t you go on my hope? Because I have hope for you. And I don’t ever ask people, do you want to work on your marriage? Because “want to” is an emotional word. And many times they’ve lost the “want to”. What I say is, will you work on your marriage? And if you are willing, that’s a choice. If you’re willing to try some things and do some things differently, let’s just see what happens. And that’s the value of counseling. You have an outside voice speaking into you and helping you both understand each other better and learn how to change some things that will make the relationship better.

Rod: Yeah, I’ll tell you, when I went through my first divorce, I actually got some counseling and I actually resisted it because, you know, my masculine– I thought, I’m not going to sit on a couch and tell somebody, you know, that’s just not me. But it was one of the smartest things I ever did. And I’ve done counseling with my bride now. We’ve been together 11 years and most amazing, incredible relationship on the planet as far as I’m concerned. And, you know, but circling back to something you just said. And guys, that’s the reason I had Dr. Chapman on the show when he talked about, it’s impossible to be a huge success if you aren’t foundationally solid. And that’s in your relationships. I shouldn’t say it’s impossible. It’s just much, much harder and it’s unnecessary to go through it with that kind of a framework because it’s so much easier when you’ve got that foundation. And that’s why I wanted the Doctor on the show. And the other thing you said about, you know, the words that we use to communicate. Words are so powerful and they can mean such different things. And so I love the way you said, you know, “will you” rather than “do you want to” and that’s just one example of many examples of being careful how you say what you want to communicate. But, Doctor, guys, listen, if you love anybody in your life, get this book, okay? Just do it. Trust me. Talk for a minute though about some of the other books you’ve written. I love the fact that you did something for young men, that you did something for servicemen or service people that are deployed. What are some of the other books that you’ve written, if you don’t mind?

Dr. Chapman: Well, we apply this to children. For parents, it’s “The Five Love Languages Of Children”, same five languages.

Rod: Nice.

Dr. Chapman: And I say to parents, the question is not, do you love your children?

Rod: Right.

Dr. Chapman: Question is, do they feel love? And understanding that if you have three children, they probably have different love languages. So discovering their love languages makes all the difference in the world, whether the child feels loved or not. So then I wrote one of “The Five Love Languages Of Teenagers” because I had parents. So we read the original book for children. It was really helpful. But now they’re teenagers. And their love language change? It doesn’t change but you’ve got to use different dialects because what you’ve been doing, they consider childish. Anyway, we deal with all the teenage issues in that one. And then we wrote one for single adults because so many singles that I know you wrote your original book for married couples, but I read it and it’s helped me in all of my relationships. So it’s for “The Five Love Languages For Singles.” And then in more recent years, we wrote and written books on special things like one is called, “Keeping Love Alive As Memories Fade: The Five Love Languages and the Alzheimer’s Journey” with a medical doctor whose wife had the disease. And then one on how this works in a blended family because emotions are different in a blended family. And how this works so when you’ve lost a baby, for example, because this often is very stressful on the marriage and those kinds of specialties, but they can find all of that if I go to my website, 5lovelanguages.com, they’ll see all of my books there.

Rod: 5lovelanguages.com and I asked the question before we started, you can write out the word five or you can use the number five. So 5lovelanguages.com, highly encourage you to get anything that resonates with you here, guys, because this truly– I know you’re here because you want financial success. It starts with this. So, Dr. Chapman, thoughts, thank you so much for your incredibly valuable time. I’m honored and humbled that you came on my show and very appreciative. Thank you so much.

Dr. Chapman: Well, thank you, Rod. I enjoyed chatting with you and I hope it is helpful to those who are listening.

Rod: I know it will be. Thank you, sir.